Let’s Play: Name That Weird Product!

Or better yet, let’s name the newest invention on the market a really weird name…

Lately I have come across some pretty funny, albeit, weird product naming for inventions that are most probably as-seen-on-(late night)-tv. These made me giggle and I hope if you needed to smile today, this will do it for you.

face eraserOkay, I saw this product while waiting online in the pharmacy for Children’s Advil. My 6 yr. old was feeling miserably and we ran out of the stuff while his fever was spiking and my face was tired from his all-night whimpering and feverish demands for olives…(his desires are so random when he’s out of it). So there I was waiting when I saw the Face Eraser, unfortunately there was no time to check it out since he was ringing me up. What a crazy name – though it caught my attention,  read: good marketing – even if it’s bizarre. I felt I could use a face-eraser every once in a while – I can never hide my true emotions – no poker face for this Lady Gaga. But the weirdest part was not even the name, rather the company who made it . Hyundai. Isn’t that a car company? So I researched further and found another product called the BODY ERASER. No Joke. That was it, I thought Ureka! Jackpot! What all women have been waiting for. The ability to erase the parts we were too lazy to exercise away…until I read up on the first product (in Hebrew) which is a hair removal SHAVER for women..for their face, from the root, ew. More info on the Body Eraser I could only find in Arabic, so with the help of Google translate I realized it’s basically an Epilady.

whatsthatNext up – and I have no idea what the heck this is as I don’t read Chinese nor do I even recognize this product. It was in the beauty section of the supermarket and I was perplexed and confused and giggling all at the same time. If you have any info on this item feel free to let me know in the comment section below.

TiresOnto non-face items. After getting a flat and rushing to get it fixed, there I sat in the dingy garage “office” as my husband hung out by the tire machine – the one that rotates in water to see where the puncture is…boys and their toys…and across from me were rows and rows of different tire covers. I imagine this is where the big boys shop, the packaging reminded me of the Hot Wheels section of Toys R Us. Cool lightening background, see-through cellophane to get a glimpse of the product with a Super Hero font and usage of the letter ‘X’ to bring it all home. But the name is what got me. ROKX. Totally meant for guys. Marketing plus and I get it, even though I’m a girl. I can see the attraction but not the connection between the name and the actual product.

gasWhile on the topic of husbands, we were out window shopping when this item caught my husband’s attention. Though it’s not technically ‘weird’ as it was probably meant to be a home decoration for those who collect retro stuff, he made me laugh when he mentioned we should purchase it and place it over his side of the bedroom. TMI?

frdgeballsThese last 2 items are my favorites of the day. The first is a product which claims to help keep your produce fresh 3x longer. Fridge Balls. I watched a video online for this product reviewed by ABC – the result was that it didn’t really work, according to one person’s experiment. I absolutely love the name, it made me laugh and if I had an extra $5 to blow I’d purchase it and try it out myself just for the fun of it.

slushifyAnd now because I was kind of a slush-a-holic during my pregnancies this item really caught my attention when I received it in my e-mail. I especially enjoy how they turned it into a verb. Slushify. Why didn’t I ever think of that?!  I am always making up words. This one slipped past me…Making slushies in a matter of minutes? I’m on board. It’s called Slushy Magic and on the side of the box describes the use of Snowflake Science – not sure what that is exactly, but it sure sounds cool. This product promises to turn any drink into a slushy in a matter of minutes and the special cup it comes with is BPA free, plus they include a super long spoon-straw. win win win, in my opinion. The only downside is the reusable ice cubes. They must be frozen, and the whole system works better the colder your drink is – so there goes my quick ice coffee slushy plan. The picture is kind of misleading though. After watching a product review, the presenter filled his magic slushy cup to the fill line with orange Crush soda, shook it for the 2 minutes as directed and when he poured it out, it was only filled about 1/3 of his plastic cup. Boo – I may need to find a new way to slushify to make it worth my effort. What about you?

A Sweet New Year

ew

Fishheads

We did it. I did it. I survived another year of mad-dash cooking for the High Holidays. There was the fish head, and there were sweetened boiled beets, and carrots and leek and gourd and dates, pomegranates – ooh yeah – what a messy treat, can’t forget those. There could have been black-eyed peas but they just look creepier than a fish head to me, so I opted out. These are the foods we eat on Rosh Hashana that are symbolic to the blessings we ask for.

appleThat and of course apples and honey – the fam favorite! I made sure to pick the prettiest apples I could find.

And then I cooked like never before. There were round challot and long challotchallah and then one with sprinkled cinnamon-sugar and one with chocolate chips and one with a fish-tail braid…plus chicken wingsroastwings and a French roast and then honey-mustard cutlets and steamed broccoli, edemame, squash kugel (pie)lunch, potato kugel  and basmati rice, salmon, salad, couscous, chicken with sweet potatoes, garlic salted green beans and the list went on!!!! There was 3 pots-worth ofsoup hearty chicken soup and of course there was dessert. There was a whip-pie that found its way into the freezer, Ben & Jerry’s and an assortment of Sharon sorbet plus DH’s red velvet cake and an apple pie. I mean tons of food! Too much food! I felt so bloated, in a good way though after every meal it was worth all the effort. 

 

The beauty of all this prepping and eating and celebrating though for 3 days straight meant that I was really looking forward to Yom Kippur. The fast days of ALL fast days. The Holiest Day Of The Year! I was going for the ultimate cleanse. No eating for 25 hours and you know what? I was only a smidge hungry. Before the fast, there was another meal to prepare but I kept it fairly simple.  And because I felt bad for my daughter who suffers with Celiac’s Disease I made her these Betty Crocker gluten-free cupcakes that my sister-in-law was kind enough to bring to us all the way from the States. They were plain yellow cupcakes that I jazzed up with Duncan Hines vanilla frosting and good ol’ colorful jimmies. I placed then in the fanciest cupcake holders I could find  and the result was awesome. She was in heaven, after not being able to eat the apple pie, the whip pie or the red velvet cake – I made it up to her with these.cupcake

What a way to start the new year. Hoping it’s a sweet new year for everyone. SHANA TOVA~!

The Countdown to Meltdown

What a rough morning. No one wants to see their child lose it. Especially from too far away to step in and diffuse the problem. 

Mommies always want to make things better, but this morning there was no way for me to reach my child on time and the fact that I could hear him screaming, “NOooo” as my daughter and others encouraged him to get on the bus, he was not budging, and I was left watching from my window across the street in my pajamas crying for what I was witnessing. Well it was between that, and this. 

OH-NO-YOU-DITTENT

He needed a tissue. A simple fact. He felt something icky and needed a tissue, which my daughter didn’t have on her. When he refused to get on the bus, even though they were holding it for him, and there was only one seat left, he wouldn’t go. My daughter was embarrassed by his behavior and then hers, for publicly admonishing him, for trying to push him too hard to do something he didn’t want to, for feeling like a failure in our eyes if he didn’t make it on time. I could see other kid’s fathers on the ground trying to encourage him to get on the bus, friends of ours who I am so thankful to for even trying. I even sent another daughter running to the rescue but she too failed and when they returned home, there was a heaviness. I was so sad. I was pretty angry. I was in a quandary…what to do, how to handle this delicate situation.

Little brother sat on the naughty step for creating a scene and missing the bus, but there will be a discussion and probably therapy about learning how to deal with difficult situations when feeling pressure. One daughter returned pretty disappointed that little brother used her sweatshirt as his tissue and had to change. The other daughter came home in utter tears and was an absolute emotional wreck. She was mortified but worse than that was suffering a shoe crisis. 

So one would think that little brother is the reason for this title, however he was just the beginning my personal mental meltdown, or so I thought. After trying to calm my daughter down, we managed to find suitable shoes for her outfit regardless of the fact that a friend made her feel bad about them the day before. She was self-conscious, I knew that, I understood that, but the fact was, the bus was coming and she still had no prepared food for lunch. The morning was so hectic there was little-to-no-time left to prepare a ‘normal’ lunch. So when I grabbed last night’s leftovers (which btw – were AWESOME) and threw something together she left with a hug only to walk back in 10 minutes later shoulders hunched and shaking, face sodden with tears. The energy it takes to calm down a hysterical teenager over wardrobe issues and a missed bus is like trying to grab the egg before it hits the ground – missing it, and then trying to scoop the goo off the tiles with a tissue. It’s almost impossible in one go. There was back rubbing, and tear wiping, hugging, deep breathing, and then finally there was a final sigh.  

I was like a ticking time bomb – waiting for the next thing to happen – not necessarily a BAD thing, just another ‘fire” I’d have to put out…another issue to deal with and honestly…I’m usually calm and deal with each thing as it hits me. Today, however it felt like I was in a batting cage with the automatic ball pitcher … without a bat. Ducking and dodging and every once in a while making a catch but really? I was just picking the balls up one at a time trying not to get it hit by the next one.  

QuotationBut the meltdown never came and I even got to work on time after dropping off my daughter at school and it was a rather pleasant day. I kept a lighthearted attitude, laughed things off and smiled at every one who walked in. I know I have work to do when I get home and there are going to be a lot of difficult conversations that we need to have, I just pray no one ends up crying. I aim to have an open discussion about how our actions create reactions and perhaps ways of coping when things don’t seem to go our way. Heck, I am just as guilty half the time of not having the best knee-jerk response, nevertheless we can all learn from listening to others. “Listening is key to all effective communication” and one of my goals is to teach my children to listen to each other, listen to us as parents and perhaps we can avoid more frustrating scenarios like this morning. I always try to learn from each incident and this was a huge lesson. The older I get, the more I can see why the people who were old when I was young were so cranky. Patience is a gift, one that I have been blessed with and never take for granted. My hope is that I never reach that ornary place and that I can always greet each person pleasantly, “b’sever panim yafot” as the Mishna in Avos states.

Wishing all a year of peace, good health, happiness and prosperity in the new year.  

  

Saying Goodbye

bookIt’s been a while since I posted though my life has been anything but dormant or boring, I’ve had lots to say but it never felt like the right time to say it, until now. This week, the 10 days between Rosh Hashana and Yom Kippur is the time each of us must make the last-ditch effort at amends and ask for forgiveness from our fellow Jews, friends, associates and G-d. The Good Book is closing and as I child I would actually visualize this, this, this massive over-sized giant book and have to squint to see if my name was written in it.

Over the last few weeks, I’ve had time to reflect about the past year – what happened and how I handled certain situations and what this year has planned for me, rather what goals or dreams or accomplishments would I like to achieve? Perhaps not letting time go by without reaching out to make more of an effort to tell those I love them, even if they live far away.

Holding me as a newborn

Holding me as a newborn

This year I said goodbye to my Grandpa Mickey, Michael Marks, who more recently was referred to as G-pa. Though we didn’t really communicate too much the last few years he was always so special to me and I had always secretly wished we lived closer. I felt even as a child that my paternal grandparents were more “for me” and that my maternal grandparents were more “for the cousins”. They all lived in Florida and we lived in the tri-state area. It seemed only fair that we each got to be spoiled by at least one set of grandparents so as a kid, there was always a slight distance that I kept. Once I moved countries with my family as an adult it became increasingly difficult to connect on many levels however the memories and love I had as a child really carried me through the years of separation.

apple picking

Apple Picking

at the circus

At the circus

At the end my grandfather was recognized as the true hero he was, but to me, he was the funniest grandpa ever. He had a twitchy mustache and was built with muscles that reminded me of Pop-eye. He had the warmest eyes and the roughest hands and the baldest head and the best voice. When he held us, he hugged with strength. When he helped us, he did it with a good heart. When we vacationed, it was the best of times. And when we danced?

Dancing at my brother's wedding

Dancing at my brother’s wedding

Seriously, that’s the very best memory of all. While we didn’t dance at my wedding for religious purposes, my grandfather blessed me as all the fathers do and then we honored him with the prayer over the bread that initiated the dining. He would tease me and my cousin Lisa, mercilessly, dance his pectoral muscles and then made us squeal when he said it was the girl’s turn next. While many thought he resembled a ninja turtle, to me he was larger than life and I will always miss that smile. He was mischievous and would make my grandmother use his full name when she reprimanded him, but this too is just a faded sweet memory. He was from what I could see from afar the most supportive great-grandfather, always in the bleachers, cheering his kids on. He was generous and kind and funny and everything grandfathers are supposed to be. He made everyone smile (except grandma – sometimes) and that’s the way I’ll always remember him.

Infiltration? Are you Ready?

In my head it went like this, Infiltration? Are you ready? If so, let’s go, starting with…holy cr@p!! There are soldiers are on my block…lots of soldiers…

Remember the game Concentration?

Are you ready?

If so?

Lets Go…

Starting with…names of… and then there was coordinated clapping and snapping. I tend to make light of awkward or sad situations because it’s a nervous habit, coping mechanism, Sorrrry!

So, Friday was a day of hustle and bustle in our home…because my elderly in-laws were staying over we decided to host the Sabbath services in our home to facilitate an easier time for my father in law, as walking has become increasingly difficult.

Cleaning and cooking, washing the floor, setting the chairs and lights and A/C so that all would be comfortable. I lit the candles on time and then the prayer service started and somewhere in between, the phone rang. This is highly unusual since everyone knows we are Sabbath observers and the phone almost NEVER rings during this 24 hour period. No message… so we continued on. Until a friend went outside to get her baby’s stroller and she returned saying there were tons of soldiers outside.

Over the last 2 weeks my personal alert radar has been on since the war had escalated and local rioting started but for some reason – coping mechanism I guess, kicked in, and I asked my older daughters to invite them in, perhaps they needed to pray…not for once thinking – there was a problem. Then (like an idiot – or just totally not thinking smartly) I – we went outside and wished them a good Sabbath and asked what was going on. When they said not to worry, but go back inside, it will be safer, my inner alert system kicked into high gear. Then the phone rang a second time.

It was a call from our emergency team leader saying we must stay inside our homes, check our WhatsApp messages for any other security messages.

Panic. I made an announcement as the prayer service had just ended to all the men that kindly helped us out. One guy was like, ‘I’m outta’ here, I’m gonna’ be with my family” – others were a bit more hesitant…I mean what was out there? Everyone decided to take their chances and head home, even though I offered them to stay for dinner.

Being observant of the Sabbath – it was strange to turn on my phone and check for messages and to see my husband grab his gun. We locked the doors and windows and tried to remain as normal as possible. The soldiers were headed up the block, where the speaker of the Knesset lives. At least I am comforted by knowing there is always extra security close by. (“The Knesset is the unicameral national legislature of Israel. As the legislative branch of the Israeli government, the Knesset passes all laws, elects the President and Prime Minister, approves the cabinet, and supervises the work of the government”)

We began our meal, but my mind was elsewhere, thinking of all the crazy possibilities. Every set of headlights up the block had my eyes turning to the window. Every bleep from my phone had me quickly checking to see any updates. My daughter saw a soldier in our garden checking the perimeters to check for anything suspicious.

I was distracted the majority of the meal and we finally got a message that all was okay and that there was nothing to worry about.

The next day I was told that there was a hole found in one of the gates and naturally that created a domino of events  in our neck of the woods or hilltop to be more accurate.

I’ve been asked repeatedly would I move my family out of Israel to feel safer. Based on the news today, uh that’s a negative definite heck no! There is a crazy fever running rampant in all parts of the world from Miami to Chicago, from Lebanon to Iraq. From France to Nigeria. I’ll take my chances in good old Israel, the safest most secure and holiest places of all, believing in G-d and the IDF to protect me. I’m not a religious zealot and know that bad things happen to good people all the time, I will most certainly be staying put with extra precautions living in a gated community where we celebrate life and mourn death.

Saturday, I was invited to a celebratory dessert gathering for boys of friends that made it back from Gaza alive. There were light refreshments, baked goods and fruit that many neighbors contributed so that right after the morning service there was a pleasant crowd and a real sense of the word community was felt.

However today is a new day, and I as I sit here typing these words my Red Alert App is dinging. 14:04 “Rockets Attack : Sderot” The war is not over, and our enemies still attack us. My hope for today us that our soldier boys, and men will not be injured, and that there will be no more Jewish blood spilled.

flag

Our Land. Our Right.

If there is a message for today it would be this: Our enemies are close, whether you live in Florida, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle, and Boston just in the US alone. Moving onto Europe, if you live in Paris, London, Brussels, Casablanca, or Frankfurt, you’ve seen it yourselves. Jews are the most targeted faith – that’s a fact. If there was one place I’d want to feel most protected? It’s the state of Israel. OUR state. Our land. Our right. The sooner you join us, the better we’ll all be.

 

Hitting Close to Home. Literally and Figuratively.

cheriblevy:

Forced to run to our safe room less than an hour ago from rockets sent by Hamas from Gaza.

Originally posted on SILLY OL' ME:

In the last few days things seem to be getting worse, but still okay. There is no cease-fire no matter what Hamas says – they are liars. Still planning to attack, still sending rockets, and now the locals seem to be getting restless. Being a ‘settler’ we are surrounded by Arab villages. While some find this scary, there was always a certain security that came with it, for me at least. See, I thought, well, no one is going to send a rocket so close to his cousin’s home, right? Until there was a rocket that landed in Bethlehem, then another in Hebron. When we ran to the bomb shelter, not 10 seconds after shutting the window, we felt it. We heard the boom and felt a tremor – okay maybe that was my heart pounding – but it sure felt like it hit close by. After when we checked…

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Hitting Close to Home. Literally and Figuratively.

In the last few days things seem to be getting worse, but still okay. There is no cease-fire no matter what Hamas says – they are liars. Still planning to attack, still sending rockets, and now the locals seem to be getting restless. Being a ‘settler’ we are surrounded by Arab villages. While some find this scary, there was always a certain security that came with it, for me at least. See, I thought, well, no one is going to send a rocket so close to his cousin’s home, right? Until there was a rocket that landed in Bethlehem, then another in Hebron. When we ran to the bomb shelter, not 10 seconds after shutting the window, we felt it. We heard the boom and felt a tremor – okay maybe that was my heart pounding – but it sure felt like it hit close by. After when we checked the news and saw that it did – my reality took a right turn to hello-stupid-wakey-wakey. Hamas doesn’t care who they hit – I’ve listened to videos of women praising their suicide bomber sons. One Palestinian woman, whose baby was being treated in a hospital in Israel by Jewish doctors and nurses, fervently repeated that their people were not afraid of death. When the interviewer asked her then why bring her child to the hospital, why not just let him die? Her response was that she has had 2 other children die in her arms before, and that it is very painful and that she has no control over what happens, “it’s a natural thing, what can I do if he dies?…Allah gave us a gift – to forget…gave and Allah has taken away…don’t you believe in death?” The interviewer (and most people I know) answered, “No, we consider life valuable”. Her response? “Life is zero. Life is worthless”. Don’t believe me? Here is the interview: ( I do not know the person who posted this).

When your enemy has complete disregard for life, there is no brokering deals. There is no meeting of the minds. There is good vs evil.  And if the good doesn’t make every effort to destroy evil from the midst it becomes like a virus, spreading and there is no other way to make it stop.

The last few days there has been local rioting. In Bethlehem (12 minutes away), just 2 days ago, “violent incidents have been reported, including pipe bombs thrown at Jewish worshipers.” In Husan -(10 minutes away), “The rioters threw rocks, Molotov cocktails, and burning tires at security forces”. In another article I read, “Arabs near Gush Etzion (where I live), south of Jerusalem, set fire to a guard tower” and then there was this random act of violence not 5 minutes from my house:  Lastly, there was this just yesterday: Only a 10 minute drive away from my home, headed towards the town where my daughter is in horseback riding camp, border police stop a potential disaster: “Inside his car officers found pipe bombs, gas canisters, explosives and a detonator, according to a statement put out by the IDF after the incident. The officer who arrested the man said the back seats of the car had been removed and the entire area was full of gas canisters rigged with electric wires.”
 
Living in Israel is never easy, there are lots of sacrifices many of us make to live here. The rewards are great and mostly internal – not an external materialistic display of wealth, rather a bank of spiritual wealth. A belief that there is a unique holiness that surrounds us, protects us, lets the desert bloom and creative minds expand, explore and produce. I am not one to push my feelings and thoughts on others. However, if you think you are safe in a different country, like America, you are kidding yourselves. For every pro-Israel rally there is the enemy, right across the street, screaming in your face. So while Hamas militants in Gaza are building tunnels to terrorize ready to attack us in Israel, we know and are taking action to prevent the ongoing terror to our cities in the southern region. How will you protect yourselves? There is this evil spreading in your midst and in every city. The proof is out there, you’ve seen the articles, you may have witnessed it yourself. My Facebook feed is bombarded by videos and posts and articles and photos that back this up. This video is in Miami! ( I do not know the person who posted this)
I’m not saying you all should move to Israel, because each person needs to decide for themselves what works best. I just have a hard time people justifying living anywhere else. I feel most protected here, because I am aware that my enemy is close. I fear death just like the next person (well not my Arab neighbors it seems) and every month is a battle to ‘make it’ financially in the life we are accustomed to. 
We have been fortunate that no sirens have sounded in at least 2 weeks, but I know this creates a false sense of security. With smaller rioting matters at hand, the threat is still very much imminent.  We are all at risk, we must all take extra precautions but at the same time, we have to live our lives as regularly as possible. We continue to drive to work, to go to camp, to shop for food, to prepare for Shabbat. Most importantly we must continue to pray. We must continue to let our soldiers know how much we care.  Feel free to ask me how you can contribute – there are lots of ways, some not even asking for your money, just your time. 
I pray today is quieter than yesterday. I pray our boys come home soon. I pray that the next post I write is not about this.

My Story. From Over The Green Line.

I don’t even know where to begin but I feel now is the time to share.

There is so much going on in our region of the world now that it should come as no surprise to any of my followers. We are at war.

I thought about writing a piece as a mother, then as a Jew or an American or an Israeli or a settler or a blogger…not sure what angle I should be writing from made it all the more difficult to begin.

But here I sit, the stress I’ve been enduring the last few weeks has left my face looking like the battlefield. Lack of sleep, on constant alert in the event that there MAY be a siren, constantly checking and rechecking my news feed for more or any information that seems new or better than the last-minute of awfulness, the constant pinging of my RED ALERT app alerting me of more rockets flying – mostly towards the southern communities, all have made the bags under my eyes weigh a ton and pimples sprout for no other apparent reason.

max-steinberg-300x234

Max Steinberg, 24,a Los Angeles native who immigrated to Israel and enlisted in the Israel Defense Forces, was among the 13 soldiers killed in the Gaza Strip on Sunday. The slain IDF soldier who was laid to rest on Mt. Herzl in Jerusalem earlier today.

I will not be going to any funerals today, but that is not true for many of my friends. I can not begin to imagine,  and yet in my subconscious daze I sort of do imagine, what its like to have to say goodbye to your young soldier boy as he leaves you to go protect the rest of our country. My teenager is turning 15 in 1 week – that’ s like a blink of time before its his turn. And. I. Just. Can’t. Go. There. Because then I think of Max Steinberg, z”tl.  I think about his parents. And my heart breaks into a million more pieces.

I struggle with figuring out what to do, I want to pray but I can’t make it through the passages without breaking down. I want to help the efforts so I sent out a message on Facebook and within 2 hours and some amazing friends who networked faster than I could have even imagined, had raised close to $1000. I was literally shaking at the thought as I worked my way through the pharmacy picking out products I know they needed first-hand. Wipes, check – but how many packages? was 20 enough? 15 Bottles of sunscreen? And muscle relaxers and cream to help with jock itch – clearly not anything I am used to buying and then getting a strange look from the pharmacist when I told him 10 tubes of each. I explained my purchase but I was so worked up I’m not sure I was making any sense.  I felt bad taking all the boxes of energy bars off the shelf so I left one. Then I went to the next store and bought 60 bags of gummy candy and 20 more containers of gummy candy shaped in hearts to send a message that our hearts are with them. I bought more wipes and about 400 granola bars. And batteries, so many batteries!

I spend my day at work barely able to keep my mind on the tasks at hand and am distracted about 95% of the time, reading multiple articles and blogs, opinions vs facts and videos of idiots who call themselves political satirists. I follow some comments on Facebook posts that lead me to viewing sites from the opinions of our enemies and I am even more frightened by the amount of anger and violent hatred that is aimed at us, call us whatever you want. Jews. Israelis. Zionists. What have we done? Occupied a land as small as NJ? That was ours to begin with and that we cultivated with our own hands, blood, sweat and tears?  A land where we plant flowers and vegetables in our gardens not dig holes filled with cement and weaponry with the intent to creep out like ants waiting to grab the first morsel/life that walks by? Who does this?  When we dig below the earth it’s because scientists want to educate on a global level in the hopes that the  “results of this project will have vast implications in the fields of science and environment and will shed light on new natural resources”.

I am sad and angry. I am exhausted and weary that we will lose more sweet 20-year-old boys to this evil on the other side. And they are pure evil. Why there are so many who still support this entity of violence is beyond comprehension and then, then to read that other countries are willing to give millions, MILLIONS of dollars to aid them in rebuilding the homes of the ring leaders –  that we just sacrificed our young soldiers for – who hid weapons of mass destruction in their basements? In their schools? In their places of worship and hospitals? The last time they were given piles of tax dollar monies they spent it on cement to dig tunnels with the direct aim to do massive harm to innocent civilians or kidnap a soldier. Those are MY tax dollars being used to torment me. Outrageous! I can’t think of enough curse words to express my outrage at this expression of  sympathy. The world has gone mental if the general thought is that innocent women and children are being displaced. That does not mean I don’t feel for them because running for your life or losing a child is awful no matter what your religion is or what you believe. However, these are the women who raised terrorists and continue to praise their efforts. These children are receiving and education which will almost inevitably lead them to become terrorists. Televised programs encourage hatred and are what their children watch for fun, cultivating a life worth dying for at a very early age calling it martyrdom. It’s murder. It’s detestable. It should shock the world, and yet, as I continue to watch rally after rally in countries all over Europe, the UK, France and United States the world cries out in their defense, reminding us that we are “settlers occupying the land” and what this war is supposedly about. I live “over the green line” labeling me a settler.

Not one of the Arabs I employ (but feel free to call them Palestinians if you want) has ever been or felt mistreated in any way. I offer drinks and the use of my bathroom if the need should arise if they are working on my house or in my garden and there has never been one word in anger that passed between us. For goodness sake, they are helping me build my house on OUR land!!!

There are huge very clear red signs that state if I enter into their neighborhoods I risk my life.   

Why would I be risking my life? What’s on the other side of that sign? A pothole maybe that I can fall into like Alice in Wonderland and find myself deep in a tunnel and when I finally get to a stop am in the basement of some guy’s shwarma shop? Maybe. Who knows now? Not me, that’s for sure. How will I know that somewhere when I least expect it, there will be a sewer lid that lifts and out comes a terrorist? Yes, so now I’m paranoid, but what choice am I left with?!

tunnel roadThis is not our way. When we build tunnels, they end up looking like this: and was built in order to travel to Jerusalem and not through the Arab neighborhoods. Oh, and on the other side of this tunnel, only a few meters away is Bethlehem, and the Tomb of Rachel – where we all can pray – but with completely separate entrances. We are a fair nation with a moral conscience. We pulled our own people out of our own homes to give the enemy a chance. To show the world we are a just people. We gave and gave and now we must take back. The world needs to be a better place. We will lose innocent lives and mourn and then wipe off the dust and begin to build again. We have started to defend OUR right to live here and until the rest of the world wakes up we are going to have to fight hard to continue to live here. There is one thing we have going for us though, that no other surrounding nation has. The love of G-d. We have His blessing.

Deuteronomy 15:4

“However, there will be no poor among you, since the LORD will surely bless you in the land which the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance to possess”

Deuteronomy 7:13-14

“He will love you and bless you and multiply you; He will also bless the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground, your grain and your new wine and your oil, the increase of your herd and the young of your flock, in the land which He swore to your forefathers to give you. “You shall be blessed above all peoples”

Deuteronomy 28:7

“The LORD shall cause your enemies who rise up against you to be defeated before you; they will come out against you one way and will flee before you seven ways”

Here is my favorite line of the day though that I want to share with you. It has helped me time and again over the last 2 weeks and I firmly believe it.

Psalms 29:11

“The LORD will give strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with peace”

three-candles-210

Dear Social Media ‘Friend’, My Soul Is Famished.

Dear Social Media Friend,

It’s hard to concentrate on daily tasks when my social-media mind takes me from one article posted to another then another, no good news. Hateful commentaries, op-ed pieces, fake videos, false pieces and “writers” submitting their work on grounds I am sure they feel they have a right to espouse, what are we even to believe? Blaming everyone but them/our/selves, speculation, lies, hate, stone-throwing, all around me there is no good news. Our own people re-posting their opinions about why we are just as bad as “them”. As if. Wake up. Enough of the liberal mumbo-jumbo. I am literally distracted and sick. Dizzy from all the misinformation, holier-than-thou attitudes of some people claiming to be my “friends” on Facebook. I am not generally vocal about my political or religious stand on lots of issues. People see me as a pacifist because I am, but in my heart there are a lot of issues that I am very ‘to-the-right’ of, but my opinions are my own and I don’t try to change anyone else’s. If you ask me, I’ll be very clear and share – but sometimes, like today, I am just so over it. I want to scream out, “JUST SHUT UP!”, most of our mothers taught us, if we have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything at all. We will never learn will we? Tell us your opinions, but be wise about it. Say it nicely. Don’t hate on your fellow Jew. Don’t be sarcastic – most of you are not funny. Say what you really mean and sound educated if you ‘put it out there’. I try to shut it all down BUT. Then, I see something, a small sliver of something uplifting and I think, okay there is hope for us yet.

For the young girls who baked and left pastries at a bus stop for soldiers protecting them. For the delicious steak someone is having most probably at a lunch meeting – being productive. For the friend who found a way to return precious lost items to their rightful owners. For the community who felt it was a good idea to spend their money to send a representative to visit the mourning families. For my old neighbor who took his guitar to sing with children.

If I can help it, for the rest of the day I am going to try to disappear from all of you and reflect on the ways I can be a better person, use MY time more wisely. Too much of my time has been spent (and probably wasted) on here-say and falsehoods. On opinionated stuffed shirts and hot air.

A piece of my mind is probably atrophied and continues to shrivel up due to drivel and anger. My soul is famished and seeks proper nourishment. So dearest social-media ‘friend’ I hope you read this and post something positive today and feel free to tag me so that tomorrow when I come back, my head won’t hurt as much and I won’t feel as sick and unproductive. Remind me why we are friends. Challenge extended.

Cheri

Ein Milim – There Are No Words

cheriblevy:

An appropriate response, our hearts are broken.

Originally posted on Aviva Woolf:

“Ein milim,” said the woman reading at the prayer vigil for the murdered Israeli boys at the Isiah Wall outside the UN tonight. “There are no words.”

Ein milim, people write sharing posts on Facebook. Baruch Dayan Emett. They say. Because that’s what you say when you don’t know what to say. There are no words to describe the death of three innocent Jewish teenagers on their way home from school. 

Well, that’s not entirely true. There are words like tragic, senseless, horrible, violence, heart-breaking. But those words don’t cut it. Those words don’t make us feel better, they won’t bring them back. They won’t fix the Middle East or make people care. 

But for the parents of Eyal, Gilad and Naftali, all they have are words now. Instead of sons, they have stories. Instead of children, they have memories to share. 

“Naftali loved to play basketball,” they’ll say. But…

View original 592 more words

A People United


We are always on the verge, it seems. On the verge of war that is. We have been warned to obtain gas masks for our families, ensure that our bomb shelters are up to code, and that our sirens are functional. Our soldiers are training and we hear stories from our sons, and our friend’s sons of what its like in the field, on the border, at their posts, with their guns, or standing alert. We hear about children’s kindergarten’s in the north being bombed,random missiles being shot and the absurdity of the loss of a teenager’s life out and about with his father.

The war on us has reached a new level. It has once again entered our neighborhood, when 3 young boys leaving school are taken against their will. Kidnapped. The last kidnapping had the country shouting for 5 years to release our soldier-boy. A soldier, not teenagers leaving from school and this has to stop. The world needs to see that this type of activity is not because Palestinians are being mistreated, what a joke! We gave back convicted terrorists to save ONE LIFE, and in turn these same animals attack us again and again after receiving freedom.

In no other country would a murderer be let free. Yet we look like the bad guys. How is that even possible?

They are allowed in our malls, in the supermarkets, on the same busses and trains. We employ them to work constructing our homes, tend to our gardens, tailor our fabrics. We offer electricity and water and food supplies when needed. And they steal our children. They enter our homes when we are sleeping and bludgeon our babies to death. They drive tractors over innocent motorists killing our families. They walk into our schools with semiautomatic weapons and shoot our children randomly. They are wolves in sheep clothing, entering our cars waiting with hidden knives to attack when we offer them a hitch, or dress like us only to blow themselves up on a bus hoping to take as many Jews with them.

We are a defensive people. We were given the gift of the land of Israel and we respect it, cherish the history from our forefathers, are blessed with making it flourish and we use stones to build a community not to throw at passing cars. We teach our children to build healthy relationships and yet they have summer camps that instruct their children to destroy at all costs, innocent people. When we left our productive land, forced by our own government, physically pulled out of our homes by 50,000 of our own soldiers as an olive branch, what happened to the wonderful homes built with love, or the fields of produce that once flourished? Destroyed and now? Now nothing, absolute nothing.  Where has there ever been any kindness from the other side.

The world wants peace. They want us to give, and give until there is no more to give.

There is no rest for the weary, our boys have not yet returned home, our communities are offering food and kindnesses to the soldiers. Our 22 “settlements” all baked, and bought, cooked and served to show appreciation in the efforts of all they do. When asked to prepare cakes, rolls and Challot for the Sabbath to give to the boy’s high-school for all the students, in accordance with baking enough in order to make a special blessing, there were 159 women who signed up. Together we delivered 349 rolls, 207 Challot and 60 cakes to the school that houses close to 300 students. We are bound by a commandment, “all the people of Israel are responsible for one another”. We are brothers, we are one family. We are bound to protect and love each other as we love ourselves and during this awful time we offer what we can in action, deeds and prayer in the hopes that we flood the gates of heaven with our cries. We beg for mercy, we trust in G-d and together, a people united we continue to hope that the boys are returned unharmed.

Please continue to pray for Gilad, Naftali and Eyal.teens_jpg

Honoring Our Past

handYou may not see what I see, because perhaps, you never met my grandmother. Genetics are a weird thing. Bits and pieces passed down through the gene pool end up popping into a new person and changing with them as they grow older. There were a couple of small photos my mother once had hanging on our metal oven wall with a magnet of her and me looking VERY much alike as children. Weirder than that was a picture my paternal grandmother hung on her wall *also happens to be my absolute favorite* of my great-grandfather centered between my uncle and father in a beautiful moment captured in black & white. Underneath, tucked into the frame was a color photo of my great-grandmother centered between my brother and myself. Seriously, my dad and I look like twins. HOW IS THIS POSSIBLE that I look JUST like my mom and JUST like my dad at different ages, when they themselves look nothing alike? Early on I learned about genetics since I was the only one in my immediate family with blue eyes. My maternal grandmother and paternal grandfather passed them down to me bit by bit. And then, there are moments when I look in the mirror and there is a glimmer of my mother looking back at me. Or I am washing the dishes and I see her hands soaping the pot. But most recently, I was reading a novel and there was something that hit me beyond words. There staring back at me was my grandmother’s hand. Though she had longer more elegant fingers, always clad in shiny rings that seemed to be slipping off (she was always cold) and her hands always smelled of Jergens or Shower to Shower powder, sure enough there was that moment.

Today is a day we honor the past and hope for our future. My grandmother was American and though I have no personal familial stories to tell of atrocities and triumph of my own (though my grandfather was an American paratrooper in WWII) , my Facebook feed is full of old black and white/sepia photos of grandparents and great-grandparents who suffered through the Holocaust. My friends, all adding their own personal stories, have helped me to connect to a reality I know nothing of, only learned about since I was very young. Looking at their pictures I try to find the resemblance either in my friend’s faces or their children’s faces. I search for the depth in their eyes and search for answers. What was going in their day-to-day lives? How did they manage to survive? What could they have possibly told their children? How did they get past these atrocities and rebuild their lives to produce some very large families and continue their G-d given heritage? I hope I never need to find out for myself.

Today, we honor their memory with a siren that blasts for 2 straight minutes while the whole country stands still. Cars stop on the side of the road, drivers get out of their cars and silently bow their heads. People in offices and stores, children in school, workers in the fields, everyone stands respectfully until the siren ends remembering the fallen. Throughout the country memorial candles are lit and programs and ceremonies are held. Holocaust Remembrance Day (or here in Israel it is known as יום הזיכרון לשואה ולגבורה Holocaust Martyrs’ and Heroes Remembrance Day) is a national memorial day. 

 memorial candleWe are a resilient nation, conquering the wrath of our enemies, proving triumphant and victorious over evil hateful nations that wish to destroy us.

We are a simple people wanting nothing more than to be just what we are. The Chosen People, which has nothing to do with race or ethnicity. “You alone have I singled out of all the families of the earth.” (Amos 3:2) Children of Israel (Exodus 6:6). A people of the land  (Genesis 12:7). My memories of my grandmother are sweet with mostly no sorrow. What will we pass down to our children? What will they remember about us? These are the questions I thought about today. How about you? We continue to honor our past and always hope for a brighter, more tolerant tomorrow.

When Giving Means Receiving

flowers

My beautiful surprise

 There comes a time in everyone’s life when a choice has to be made or a question needs to be answered. More often than not we ignore or push-off making a final decision or finding the best solution until we are emotionally or financially ready. That’s a good thing. It’s never smart to make decisions without proper thought about consequences. Sometimes a rash decision will cause tremendous ramifications and that’s not a good thing. Taking the time to really hash out our feelings is an important part of the process. 

BUT. Then there are times when you get a certain feeling to do a certain something and just act. Without thinking too much. Even though some may say is “adventurous”, some…”stupid”, may be the one thing that sets you apart from everyone else. Now, this could be bad or good.

Let’s say your cousin shows up with spiked hair and you decide to just do the same (Hair Today, Idiot Tomorrow). That, most probably, will turn out bad and last the whole summer and not grow out for the first day of being a freshman in high school. 

However, if you decide to do an act of kindness, because you see another person needs help or, an extra hug, or something that seems insignificant like a ride, or a call, or a smile, you know what will happen? A chain reaction.

Either you’ll want to continue doing these small kindnesses because it brightens someone else’s day, and THAT makes you feel good, or the person on the receiving end will want to do something similar for someone else. 

When I decided to take upon myself the task of baking Challah bread every week for Shabbat (the Sabbath) and pray that my niece’s baby have a complete and speedy recovery, a tradition that many religious Jewish women take on, it was a mother daughter affair in honor of my daughter’s upcoming Bat Mitzvah, but a tradition I kept on throughout the year. The more I became comfortable with the dough, and the prayers, the more people I started to pray for, the more intense my prayers became. Then one day, it hit me. I had the strongest urge to share some loaves with one of the families I was praying for. I first asked if it would be helpful, did they want it, did they need it? I was thrilled the answer was yes, well mostly because we as a family, even if I invite guests won’t finish 7 large loaves in one weekend. But more importantly, by bringing my son along to deliver the bread, I was able to bring another person along for the journey. He could witness the look of appreciation on the receiving end. That made him feel good too.

Once there was a neighbor (we are not close with) who knocked on the door and asked if we happened to have a spare roll just so that he could make the blessing later that evening. The store had closed before he had a chance to purchase enough for his family and I was thrilled to be able to share. Another time while about to get in the car to make deliveries, the same neighbor was saying goodbye to friends of his and the guest had commented about my loaves. I offered them the ones in my hand and asked my son to run up to get more. The guest was speechless, his wife was a little shocked, kept protesting and saying that it wasn’t necessary and I think mortified that her husband so willingly accepted, but was gracious when I reminded her that she was leaving close to Shabbat and that with the travel back to Jerusalem (and her screaming children in the back) there may not be enough time to purchase their own. Her smile was worth a million thank yous and her husband was telling his friend how lucky they were to live in such a warm neighborhood.

We got in the car to deliver and my son (who often brings his sullen teenage attitude with him) was going on and on about how cool that was. How awesome it was  to make another person happy, simply by offering a kindness. When we delivered the first set my son was able to play with a dog – so naturally he was in even better spirits and finally to our last destination where my son returned to the car holding a beautiful bouquet. For me. What?!? That was such a nice surprise! I certainly had no intention or expectations for a return gift. I gave freely with my whole heart never needing or wanting anything in return and thus being on the receiving end of someone’s thoughtfulness was overwhelmingly pleasant. This is the chain reaction I was referring to. One action leading to another, creating a good example for my son. That with my one act of sharing, I was able to create a smile for at least 4 other people.

I’m not sharing this piece to toot my own horn, its nothing really. I know lots of people doing lots of nice things, however, I recently read The hole story, by my friend Elie Klein, and the lesson I took away was that it’s important to share these details with others and hope that a chain reaction begins. They say that sharing is caring and I couldn’t agree more. Setting good examples for my children means I sometimes do the right thing and those are the actions I hope they remember me most by.

 

Our Tooth-Fairy Has Celiac & An Email Account (Apparently)

This is how we found out:

Paco (6 yrs old): Can I ask you something?

Mommy: Always

Paco: Can you wiggle my tooth?

Mommy: I’d rather not, can you? I’ll just look

Paco: See how it’s almost ready. Can you take it out after dinner?

Mommy: Why don’t we try right now?

Paco: Nope. I don’t wanna’ eat bloody food.

Mommy: Sounds like a plan.

After dinner, and a bath, and an episode of some robot-y program on Netflix – I finally convince him its time.

Mommy: Okay, here we go, ready?

Paco: Never

Mommy: Open up! Wider, say “eee” …okay open while you say “eee”, enter tissue…gagging…begging. DONE!

Later that night in bed we discuss how the tooth-fairy will come by while he is sleeping and take his teeth and replace them with shiny coins. Unfortunately the tooth-fairy got completely distracted, side-tracked, and tired and never showed up.

The next morning…

Paco: Mommy! Mommy!

Mommy: jsdfbrfqerf still sleeping erjjrwnf, what?

Paco: We need to send the tooth-fairy an email

Mommy: Wha?

Paco: She is too sick to fly here and bring me the money, so we need to email her

Mommy: Why is she sick?

Paco: She has coughs and can’t fly. And she has Celiac.

Mommy: Really. Wow. Okay, I’ll ask Abba ( daddy) to send her one. oops

Conversations with this guy never leave me without a smile. 

The Day Of The Red Shirt

Even though members of my book club have already heard this story, I feel like one day, when the ol’ noodle fails me for good, these stories will be able to be passed down from generation to generation and my great-great-grandchildren will be able to say – 0h she was sooo silly! Here is my amazing mother blunder of the day:

Finally, I was going to make it to work on time. I had just enough time to drop “Paco” off at school and get on the highway and be at the office by 9. Yes, that is rare, because as most moms can relate, there’s always that delay due to the search for matching socks, or a meltdown about the crust left on one’s sandwich. Sure enough, I walk this guy into his class and see that EVERY.OTHER.CHILD is wearing a white shirt. Then the teacher sees my angel wearing his brightest, fuzziest, RED shirt and sort of does that slight head tilt with a disapproving blink. I can hear her inaudible sigh of impatience and the look – oy, the look – that says – yikes, this one again. She never gets it right.

red shirtPaco notices and looks up at me with a pursed frown and a mean squeeze of the hand that basically screams: MOOOOM how could you?!?

So I run home and search the laundry bin for the shirt he wore the day before because (naturally) all the other kids had to wear white shirts YESTERDAY!

I grab a pair of dark pants because heaven forbid, if he’s the ONLY one wearing khakis, I will never forgive myself. I run back and he makes me get into the eency bathroom stall to help him get changed. He’s so modest. While my elbows keep banging the walls as we tango trying to get his clothes off and on again, I sort of, maybe, let go of his coat and it landed on the toilet seat. So I gasp praying that it doesn’t reach the water, and he turns horrified, so upset he starts to cry that he’ll never ever wear it again until summer (it’s a wooly lumberjack zip-up – so I’m kinda’ like – yeah ok, no biggie). I show him that it didn’t get wet, but the screaming continues like I’m Gforbid hurting him…so I beg him to stop and make promises that I am forced to keep. I was so quick to say yes to anything as long as he didn’t get all booger-y and get those puffy red eyes for picture day! I begged him to be brave and not cry, that I wanted a beautiful happy picture-day-boy, since I have yet to get one of those. I usually get the grumpy-furrowed-brow-kid – youknowtheone…as if I were one of those moms, the skin-glowy, Vegan-flowy-skirt-wearing send him to school with whole wheat sandwiches stuffed with alfalfa sprouts for lunch, moms!

I’m not trying to be judgy, so I hope you aren’t either – but I’m the mom who grabs the smiley-face cookies with creme in the middle and sends him off with a chocolate pudding if it’ll stop the whining in the morning. (I do give him cream cheese sandwiches and cut apple slices too btw), also, my kids tend to be on the small side, so extra calories never hurts them. (justify, justify, justify).

Anyway – I can barely wait to see how the pictures come out. I was traumatized (and really late for work) but I can look back now and see the humor in the situation. But why do these things always seem to happen to me?!?

While Some Things Change, Others Remain The Same

Last week, while I didn’t address it head on (until today…when it was already said and done), there was a major change that occurred at my workplace. The boss who originally hired me decided to move on and I missed his last day. Perhaps subconsciously, I was very agreeable to take the day off when I was asked by my bestie who was visiting from the states. 

While the boss was not my direct boss anymore, he still was the person I went to when things needed fixing. The one I could laugh with now that I wasn’t the youngest one in the office. The one that teased me about the way I dress (all in good fun, of course) and the one that sent me the best e-mails of the coolest (and smallest)  houses in the world. Walking in to work today, seeing my desk piled with papers awaiting my attention (serves me right for skipping a day!) was pretty depressing, especially since I’ve been up since 3AM (story for another day). I was bombarded upon entering and at the ready -shot responses to at least 3 people who greeted me, I finally sat down, took care of the mail, organized the piles and saw this.

bamboo

I know it probably means nothing to you, but to me, this bamboo plant means change has happened. Week after week, while the department heads (and silly ol’ me) sat around the conference table eating our breakfast, I’d see this bamboo plant make its way from a little sprout to what it is today. My boss, for better or worse, helped this plant nourish and grow, much like he did for all of us. Making it his business to see that we performed to the best of our ability. So, even though I know change is good, it hurts to say goodbye and when I didn’t see his white Volvo wagon parked this morning I was sad, but seeing this plant, that he left for me to take care of, even though we live 15 minutes away from each other, meant he was officially gone. I’m super excited to see where he goes from here though, because now that one door closed, I am sure many more will open and he will be a great leader wherever he chooses to go.

And…then…some things never change. I took a vacation day to spend with one of my oldest friends who came to Israel for work but took a few days to have some serious girl time. A friend who through high school and after marriage and children and living in different countries, (even though “GrayHair” invited herself into our lives) has stayed the same, having the ability to turn EVERYTHING into something funny. We’d see something or look at the same thing and with one look at each other, know exactly what the other was thinking. I got to impress her with my language skills and she impressed me with her constant emotional strength.  We had some seriously good food, conversations and then just like that it was over.  Time flies when you’re having fun. I loved that our friendship has never changed. It’s comforting to know that just when you need an injection of something dependable it’s there in your home bringing you Hershey’s chocolate and an InTouch magazine.

I am in desperate need of sleep (blasted middle-of-the-night-allergy attack!) and very weepy, introspective and thoughtful. Today is bittersweet.  I love that my boss, and today I can officially call my friend, is moving on, though he leaves us behind to fend for ourselves. The move is a good one, a healthy break with everyone singing his praises for many jobs well done over the many years of service, and he accepted them graciously. 

“And that is how change happens. One gesture. One person. One moment at a time.” ― Libba BrayThe Sweet Far Thing

I bless everyone this new month, with the opportunity for changes in the right direction. 

Weird Apps For Wednesday!

I apologize from the get go. This may get gross. 

crapappIt’s either genius or sick but either way people are being creative and I applaud that.First weird app of the day is an app where one can monitor their, um…output.  I’m sure the fact that Dr. Oz promoted this on his show will have gotten more coverage than my wee lil’ blog post, nevertheless. It’s called the Bowel Mover Pro.  No joke. An app that tracks crap. (sorry for the naughty word usage…I couldn’t control myself-pun intended). The better way to explain this app I guess would be to say that it helps one track their digestive health. 

6.HelloCowThen there is this app for no reason other than maybe for the cowboy who moved to the big city and misses the farm. It’s called Hello Cow. Basically its a cow. Poke it and it moos. That’s it. Oh and it costs 99¢. 

ifart

Back to gross and stupid, but probably funny for the mass of immature boys and men out there is the iFart Mobile App. You can record your own or use one of the many pre-recorded fart sounds labeled by funny names to prank all your friends. Also for 99¢…I really want to know how many people pay for and use this app. I like to prank just as much as the next class clown, but I wouldn’t pay for it. 

inapI saved the best for last: The iNap App. I know way too many people who would use this one! Yup, you guessed it, for only 99¢ you can download the app that will allow you to nap anytime anywhere and has a feature to alert you (assuming your locator is on and you’ve programmed your destination on your phone). Great for bus trips, though why anyone would pay for this and not just use the alarm feature on their fancy phone, I’m not sure.

Anyway, that’s all for today folks, feel free to comment and let me know other weird stuff you may want me to post about. Happy Wednesday!

Who Said Blondes Have More Fun?

Because, sometimes, I wonder about these things.

When I was a brunette, I was single and dating and falling in love and making a lot of money. I was a new mom – with chubby babies and carpeted floors, with boundless energy for whipping up goodies for appetizers and desserts. My cheeks were dewy and eyes bright with wonder at almost every little thing. (*delayed reactionary afterthought – carpeted floors are squishy and the best place for your feet on a cold morning…now that I don’t have them…I really miss them)

buster brownWhen I was blonde, I mean really blonde, no one saw it, except my husband. It lasted about a week, and I kept in under wraps because, well, it literally frightened him. I bought this ‘amazing’ color and as a bored new wife (while I was still searching for a full-time job) and decided it was time for a change. Um, it was bad. It was like Madonna-Blonde from her Material Girl days. It was platinum gone wrong. Not only that but it got worse…see because I was bored I decided to cut my hair and sort of got carried away. Evening out one side, then the other, and back again. It was the worst short bob I ever had because I looked like the Buster Brown character.

Being a devout religious Jewish woman, I cover my hair in public. At the time, just being blonde wouldn’t have been so bad, however since I cut it so short, there were lots of pins and clips and soft head-bands to try to keep it all from spilling out from under my hat or bandanna or wig.  It was torture. Definitely not more fun being than being a brunette.

A few days later I bought another box of magic and returned to a color that resembled my original hair color and so I decided to experiment with food when things got too boring.

Over the years I’ve picked wig colors that were closest to my natural hair color and people were always surprised and assumed I was a natural blonde. That always had me making this weird face – I mean, there are wedding pictures in my house where my brown hair is prominently displayed. Perhaps being fair and with pretty thin eyebrows made them think this way, I’m not really sure! Certainly seeing me with my children maybe by association they thought I was blonde. 5 for 5 all blondes! 

Over the years,  I’ve played with various colors as I dyed my hair for fun and for some reason no matter what color I chose, Chestnut, Nutmeg, Natural Blonde (even!) sort of came out looking reddish. When it came time to buy a new wig, I actually wanted to go blonde(r) since everyone thought I was blonde anyway…so I tried on a few different shades and when I finally settled on a nice in-between color, I was nervous. I never stepped out as a blonde before, but the feedback was great and everyone said how natural it looked with my skin tone. I chose a longer more luxurious style than I had before and the truth is I do feel more young and maybe see myself as more fun. That could also have to do with my age though, the older one becomes the more confident they become. 

drivingI am now older, wiser and blonde(r) but ‘fun’ means something different to me so maybe I missed my opportunity to get what people say about being blonde. To me, fun is reading a book under a cozy blanket or watching a movie with my friends or family. Fun is observing my children when they don’t see me watching them. Fun means gathering around a table fit for a king with delicious food platters and a festive atmosphere. Would I still like to stick my head out the window of a car speeding down the longest stretch of highway with the wind whipping my “hair”? Yes. But not because I’m ‘blonde’. Would I do it? Probably not, I’d probably wear a hat! 

I don’t think having fun is a blonde thing or a hair thing. Having fun varies depending on one’s age.  And at any age Dr. Seuss gives sage advice even on a rainy day, “I know it is wet and the sun is not sunny, but we can have lots of good fun that is funny.” 
― Dr. SeussThe Cat in the Hat

When Mommy Gets Sick

sick-mom 1_edited-1Last week was rough. No, I did not get a flu shot. Because, I never get one.

Will I get one next year? Probably.

Do I feel like and idiot? Yes.

Did I stay in bed most of the time? Yes.

Did it help. I dunno. 

But man, was I sick. I got everything the NYQUIL commercial claims the medicine handles. The sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, plus 2 sick boy children with me. Too bad I didn’t have the medicine!

But then, of course, it got worse. This week, even though my chest has remnants of the ol’ rattle and wheeze, I went back to work. Because I had to. There were expectations and I was gaining more energy every day. So I did. And then naturally the girls mid week started to really complain. So, today I took them to the doctor.

The doctor’s visit proved one bronchopneumonia, one flu and some more antibiotics for mommy’s wheezing…(feel free to wag your finger at me)…because I am not thinking with 100% brain here, I took them all to work. Because I had to be there by 10. Because I am sick, and not focused on making the best decisions, I chose to bring these sickies to work with me instead of  leaving them all at home with a laptop full of movies and loads of ice cream.

Dummy. Dummy! DUMMY!!

So natch it’s Wednesday and I had a few minutes to scroll through the internet to find the most absurd (though they might be true) healing methods I could find that people put out there:

This seems weird but doable:

  • Hydrogen Peroxide: At the first sign of cold, flu, sinus infection, or ear infection, put a dropperful of hydrogen peroxide into each ear. Have the person lie still with the hydrogen peroxide in the ear until it stops bubbling. Do this on both sides. This is especially effective for kids. Repeat every few hours until infection is gone.

This seems good if you were in Poland without any other forms of medicine.

  • potatosThe Potato Method: I have a hard time believing that the raw potato is the way to go.

Lastly, there is no way anyone could have believed this advert, really.  At least I hope not!

dr-battys-asthma-cigarettes-l

The Cigarette Method:  Even the Dr.’s name seems suspicious!

A Look Back – Thanks Facebook

Having the flu – which really should be called “burning golf balls in your throat and an elephant sitting on your chest”  – but I guess flu is shorter and easier to say…stinks.

However, being in bed the majority of this week has enabled me to watch over 60 ( I think, I lost count but definitely at least 50) look back videos.

Dear Mark Zuckerberg and the Facebook team,

imagesHappy Birthday Facebook!

I LOVED the gift you gave to us – a video that encapsulated the posts that we published since we began our FB journey. Of course based on the algorithm you programmed, our pictures or posts were placed in the video  – so while some videos were overly beautiful and made most of us weep for the sweet moments they captured, they were not all moving pieces. However, If we were naughty, and deleted some photos, because well, lets face it, no one needs to see a picture of your bagel that you ate last year and felt the need to share it with the world – that’s not  ‘video’ material is it? We were punished. No video for you. Just a bunch of weirdly random pictures that we could not even share is what we got.

And I am so very disappointed, see, I saw my video and it was great, well-rounded and shared some old pictures of me and my classmates, some of my old co-workers with one of our special needs volunteers,  some great children moments – as well as me and some friends in group shots, but there was none of my husband – which I was so sad about. So I changed my profile picture to one of my favorite couple shots of us thinking, this is just going to make it amazing – and then – nothing. Just a weird grouping of random stills I sent out over the years with no ‘Share’ button – just a thank you from Mark Z and his team.

That got me thinking and as I scrolled FB to see, there were others like me, at least 2 others and there was no do-over. It had me thinking about G-d. ( I know I’m ill and feverish so it may have been between pills when this came to me).

G-d sometimes give us do-overs, but sometimes the algorithm is the way it is. Something set and that’s the end of it. I was called an idiot for not getting the flu shot. Well, okay – I didn’t want to inject some flu in me so I wouldn’t get a worse case of it – those are the breaks. Maybe I am an idiot sometimes, but I try not to be, and that had me thinking back to Facebook.

Sometimes I share a lot of nonsense. Watching so many other people’s videos I learned a few things about the way we choose to ‘share’. Here is what I learned about myself and Facebook:

  • I will try to stop sharing pictures of food that I cooked or baked. It’s really not that interesting and I already write a blog – so I might as well stick those shots in a section called – “”Hey, I cooked something and I want you to comment on how it looks” or something dually self-promoting.
  • I will think about sharing only the moments that matter. Not because it’s fake or gives the impression that my life is perfect, on the contrary  – no one has a life that is all vacations and dinners at fancy restaurants. Well at least not any of my 600 some odd ‘friends’ on Facebook – well maybe just one or two of them do – but I digress. I should be more selective about what I share.
  • We all seek attention.  From the tiniest hang nail and paper cut (no matter how annoying or painful) to the proudest moments as parents and biggest personal achievements, we put ‘stuff ‘ out there in the hopes that someone will comment, connect or make fun of us. Sharing is caring and can be fun and even sometimes helpful. But are we using this tool solely to seek attention? Maybe.
  • Having pets is okay, I guess.  Just because I’m highly allergic to all your furry friends, means I’ll never own one and am cautious about accepting invitations to your homes. Even when I’m there my first reaction is to back away and cringe – but I know some are great companions and good for children.  So I’ll watch your cute dog videos. They all look so harmless in your Look Back vids.
  • Facebook connects people. And that’s the reason I started with it anyway. Living far from family has its advantages, sure, but not when you miss a Thanksgiving dinner, or a wedding or even worse, your elderly grandparents. Will grandpa chat with you and you can only see his chin the entire conversation? Yup. so when Skype or Facetime fails with the ol’ folk, there is Facebook – where you can automatically share videos and pictures and messages. And then every ten years get your own recap video.

So thanks Facebook, for giving me an opportunity for a do-over. But if anyone on staff reads this – can you rig it so I get to see my video again? Thanks.

Love, Cheri