All That She Wants



It was all windows down, wind in my-well, not-really-hair, sort of in my eyes, but volume ablastin’ as I was going 120 kilometers down one of the Judean Hills.

The last time I listened to this song (CD on auto repeat of course) I was in my dorm room (apt. in the Beacon Hotel) working on an art paper (biggest joke ever). A paper that was meant to be 3 pages long on a piece of work displayed at the MET. I took the day with my good friend Shu (that’s a girl) and some dude named Lee. We had a blast. A bit like Ferris Beuller’s Day Off.

I do want to be cultured, I truly do. I have been to the opera, the ballet, the Israeli Philharmonic, to museums internationally, but there is just something so annoying about art. I mean, I get some of it. Not the one piece I had to write a paper on for Art History though. The painting I got, well, it was a canvas, covered in green paint. That’s it. Just. Green. 3 pages, seriously? Seriously. Why couldn’t I get a piece like this, entitled, Woman In a Hat. Which I don’t get. Picasso should have had someone like me title it. I’d call it Block Head. Or better yet,  Woman Who Can’t See Her Hat Because Her Eyes Are Not In Her Head. least this painting has elements that are bizarre and it’s easy to make fun of, I mean try to comprehend, dissect, and explore. My green painting was going to need lots of effort and many trips to the local bodega for junk food.  I ended up writing a whole lotta’ hooey. It was brilliant. I covered so many areas. There was envy, money, the environment, gardening and vegetation. I even went so far and used alliteration with the phrase, “snot of society”, that may have been added in the wee hours of the morning to be funny and forgotten to have been deleted, oopsies. I stretched it as far as I could and gosh darnit! I finally made my 3 pages, thanks to Ace of Base, and was thrilled to receive a grade to be proud of. The professor praised me for my creativity and dedication to the assignment. She thought I’d blow it off and was surprised and appreciated how I took it to so seriously [insert cough, here]. Happy Brilliant Me. Of course, I took these type of classes so that I’d do well. I mean, I knew calculus wasn’t gonna’ be ma’ thang, so I stuck to the Arts. Communications is where I excelled and knew that after advertising, marketing and TV, Radio and Broadcast classes I’d eventually find my way.

So after graduation at Avery Fisher Hall, and the totally awesome dancing and fanfare at Denim & Diamonds with the sailors that were docked as they are every May/June, I needed a plan. What did I want? All That She Wants…was a job in the fashion, TV commercial, advertising, runway, film, NYC life industry. Sounded easy enough so I decided to take a course in basic and advanced Make-Up application at a fabulous institution that advertised on TV, right after the Ogilvie Home Perm commercial -what’s not to love? There were photo shoots, some gut-wrenching tear-streaked eye-brow plucking and a lot of phrases that ended in, ‘darling’, with my instructor, who I’m fairly certain was gay. So exciting, my first encounter.

It took me 2 weeks to learn that:

  1. I will never want to be a professional model – don’t even try to persuade me
  2. Peruvian women have alohahot of super-strong eye-brow hairs
  3. Some gay men use lots of hair product and call you “darling”
  4. I didn’t enjoy touching people’s faces

Professionally, as it happens, I did one gig. The really weird thing is, the ONE person I ever made up professionally, who was my friend by coincidence ended up being the wife of a rabbi, that became a household name, world renowned, and is now my good friend and NEIGHBOR! So bee-za-row! I wonder how her make-up held up. I wondered if I had a career that I walked away from. When people ask what I do now, I basically respond secretary. Sure, its way more than that but in a nutshell…I like being in a position to help people, without having to touch their face or any other body part for that matter.

Since that course, I took a job working for a non-profit organization as a temp., worked my way up to getting the title of Associate Director of Communications (true it was just me and the other guy, but still!) and have worked in non-profits ever since, never looking back and thinking…I could have been. Of course I’m the silver lining girl so even if I was cold-calling, which took only one summer to realize I was better than that, selling garbage bag twist-ties and learned how to convince office managers they NEEDED this item, in bulk…there are idiots in the world bigger than me. Silver Lining? I was happy to have a pay check, meet new people, etc. There’s a lesson I really like to carry with me. Even if I couldn’t for the life of me understand why someone would be possessed/convinced to purchase 3000 twist-ties for an office that had 24 employees or paint an entire canvas green and call it art, it was an experience that helped shape me. Shape my ‘career’. Getting a different perspective will help you become less judgemental. Looking at something or a situation in someone else’s shoes can guide you to better understanding of them. Even IF they are wack-jobs that lop their ears off and call themselves artists. I don’t mean to judge, wink.



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