WHERE is the OTHER shoe?!?!

There is a conspiracy going on over here, I am sure of it.

The war with socks is – for a lack of a better word – inevitable. I mean, its maddening that pairs never end up in the same load. I am firmly convinced that they cling to the side of the machine and just wait there hiding and then drop after the fact so that we are left with the mystery and unfortunate SOCK BIN DRAMA or trauma – either way – that bin is overflowing and I’ve given up. Raised my fists to you socks! Your punishment is that you are abandoned all summer long, no one even looks your way. You deserve it you evil cotton necessities!

Now that that’s off my chest. There is a serious problem with shoes in my house. Or my kids, but I prefer to blame the shoe, like I blame the sock. My kids are of course, perfect angels, free from blame (insert fake cough here). I want to know where the other shoe is. How is it possible that only ONE shoe gets lost???

My children have been told many times, ad-infinitum, to PUT THEIR SHOES AWAY and not leave them in the downstairs bathroom, or the play room, or the stairs, or under the kitchen table, or on the stairs leading to the house!!! These shoes miraculously find their way to various spots, mocking me, and as frustrating as this is, of course I cannot blame the angels. Why would they purposely vex me to the point of mad lunacy? I am at the edge. The  lone shoe manages to taunt me 2 minutes before we are to leave the house. ALMOST EVERY DAY! 

I like this poster and am thinking of making one myself for a Lands End kiddie water shoe.

Last week I found one on the stairs at the entrance to our house. The tale I got was that it was banished because of jelly. (No one in my house eats jelly.) So today, as manic as it was to get everyone out on time, the child comes outside wearing only one shoe.

I asked this child, “Where is your other shoe”?

He responds angelically, “He’s hiding”.

I ask, “Where is he hiding”?

Child: “I forgot”

Mommy: “You forgot to put him in your closet”?

Child nods, really slowly with puppy dog eyes.

Mommy: (trying to keep cool, but totally not) “Everyone look for the shoe”!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

After grumbling and protesting and threats of treat-withholding the little people begin the search. 20 minutes later – still no shoe. Fingers to the temples I think hard: If I were a shoe and wanted to hide, where would I be?

I am seriously thinking this is where shoes go to when they want to hide. On the left. This is where I would go. A small place deeply hidden in the woods. A small cozy place where birds chirp and the leaves rustle.

I know better and this water shoe is probably sitting quite comfortably in one of the millions of toy bins or wedged between the bed and it’s frame. I looked online to search for other mothers who suffer this epidemic to seek guidance. Look what I found. How it got there I am sure that mom of triplets had no idea, my children’s beds have no metal springs under their mattresses, I need a plan B. I often find myself in this situation. We have lots of shoes, only none of them match each other, well not exactly. There may be some pink ones, some with flowers and some with rubber soles.

I’m thinking of instituting a policy that there will be a 5 minute search limit. If the children can’t find a matching pair in the span of 5 minutes they must wear the closest possible set. Period. Of course some may complain, no biggie, I cold-called for a summer, I have 2 weeks worth experience on how to respond. There is that one child of course that could care less.  It is important to teach our children a sense of responsibility. 

But let’s be honest. How many times have we misplaced our keys, our glasses, our wig (true story). These things happen because we get distracted, our brains shut down because the phone is ringing, and heaven forbid we miss that call. Immediate memory loss occurs when a child’s feet are sweaty and the TV or computer or Wii calls to them. I’ve seen it dozens of times. We all have what to work on. No one is perfect. The problem is probably me. I need to adapt to the fact that shoes will go where they want to go and only if they are so inclined will they find their way to the dark and scary closet.

However, I am not opposed to bribery. The sticker chart may have to come back, the rewards system may need to be put back in place. I may be willing to even pay and call it chores. I am also not above threats if all else fails. Why? BECAUSE I WANT TO FIND THAT SHOE!!!!! 



  1. Buy a pair of UGLY shoes for each kid, if they lose their shoe, they must wear these pair, that will get them to find it REALLY fast!

    My problem is that my two daughters (ages: almost 4 and not yet 2) have to look in the shoe drawer and decide which shoe to wear today! … and it takes them FOREVER to decide!

    So wether its losing a shoe or deciding which pair, they are going to make the morning rush stressed!


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