I decided to start a new series of posts dedicated to all the weird stuff I find on the internet. Since I often catch myself slacking off towards the middle of the and need a quick pick-me-up, laugh or smirk I decided Wednesday would be the perfect day to do this, why? Because it starts with the letter ‘W’ and I like alliteration. No brainer. I always want to invent the next coolest thing but I don’t really know anything about building or creating prototypes and I am nervous someone is gonna’ steal my “amazing” ideas if I hire them to create it. Half the time, the product or service already exists, but until I google it I’m in the dark thinking ‘this is the one!”, and it never is. Someone else got to it before me.
To the left you’ll notice a USB Vaccuum Cleaner. Really? Yes. This is so clever, cute, original and sucker proof. I would TOTALLY buy this product because it is just so cute, even though I would most probably never actually use it. Programmers and techies who sit at their computers all day and whose moms and bosses get upset at them for making a mess while eating chips and cookies and all sorts of munchies while they work (or kids who are glued to gaming all day), this is the perfect solution to end all that nagging!
I asked the person in my office who is in charge of purchasing supplies to order me a battery operated or electric pencil sharpener, because even though I truly love these old school sharpeners, I needed something that could get the job done quicker and more efficiently. What I was given was…a pencil sharpener that had a USB cord attached to it. I was like…eh, cool, I guess? It had a pretty short cord and my computer was on a wheelie cart by my feet so it wasn’t the most practical sharpener and here’s why. By ACCIDENT my knee knocked the wheelie cart one day and the sharpener, that was always plugged in to the computer and sat at the very edge of the top (which was really its side) because of its short cord, ended up falling off the top, cracking into lots of itty-bitty pieces and then of course refused to work. While it was ‘cool’ in terms of innovation, it pretty much bit the biggie and in actuality never seemed to have enough power to sharpen from flat to pointy without sounding like it was having an asthma attack.
These USB inventions had me searching for other like products. I found this fan. I studied advertising in college so naturally I took one look at this ad and thought, WHAT IDIOT CAME UP WITH THIS WINNER? But even if I had never studied advertising, I mean seriously? Yeah, a dandelion would be a good be a great way to show people how a fan works (sarcasm). We are at an age where we’re hooking things up to our computers, but we need a visual on how a mini fan works? And a dandelion? I suffer severe allergies with probably the majority of the human population and this is the best image to explain the fan process?Just the association would have me running for my tissues and rubbing my eyes. No thank you.
There are a ton of other really strange USB products so I think I may add another USB day but here is the last one for today. It’s a USB blender alarm clock! I can think of one target market here. Female college students. Space efficient since dorm rooms tend to be compact. Late night study group, need a caffeine boost, deciding to make ice coffee for her study buddies, BUT will end up passing out way to late/early in the morning and may miss their exam time, if it weren’t for the handy-dandy multi-versatile USB Blender Alarm Clock! No, I would never buy this product, even though its cute and retro. It probably has a short cord. I’d knock into something and spill it and fry the laptop or make the keyboard all sticky and besides isn’t it dangerous to keep liquids near electronics? Who thinks of these ideas? Who made the prototype for this doozy? I need to find that guy and give him all my brilliant ideas! Maybe next Wednesday I’ll write about my invention. I call it the GLO-BOWL…to be continued….