The Fragile Lives We Lead

I know we have no REAL control over what happens to us. Our end is pre-destined but we have the power to alter when that end is based on action and good deeds. Or so I’ve been told and firmly believe.

The older I get the more wise I feel, its true. There are certain things I am absolutely sure of. For example: As a child I refused to believe that if my brother slapped me while I was crossing my eyes, I could get stuck that way, however as an adult, I know this can be a truth. Other less obvious things are mostly feelings now, but feelings I am so sure of, I can almost say with certainty that there is truth behind it. Once again, being a believe in G-d, the outcome can change for anyone when it is His will.

This IS very deep for me, I know, I apologize. Sometimes I get philosophical and need to pour out my thoughts and feelings…mostly when I am emotional about something. Like my posts

The Best Show Ever – And It’s Not Even Broadway

or

The Boy, The Man & Me

As funny as I think I am, these are the posts that have gotten the most hits, likes and feedback.

Today, I am emotional. Overtired from taking my best friend to the airport (over an hour drive away) and returned at the house by 5:30 AM and then got the kids off to school and myself at work. No one missed the bus, everyone had lunch, brushed hair and teeth and clean clothing on…success. But still highly emotional.

My great-niece who is just a baby is on a respirator. Her mother, my niece, is upbeat and focused on getting the word out for prayer groups and staying positive. I on the other hand am an emotional wreck. This niece was my flower-girl. I watched her grow up and I myself am a mother of young children. I know first-hand what it feels like to have a newborn hospitalized and though her baby is not brand new, her baby is ill and needs help, good thoughts and prayers. I’ve watched my niece grow up, met her friends, she has helped me in times of need and she is pure goodness. To think that she has to suffer in this way is overwhelming me.

This time of year is auspicious for Jews. Rosh Hashana is the holiday where G-d decrees who will live and who will die in the coming year and we have 10 days until Yom Kippur to plead for a better outcome. Every year there is a passage that fills my heart with sadness and trepidation.

Here is the English of that prayer:

On Rosh Hashanah will be inscribed and on Yom Kippur will be sealed how many will pass from the earth and how many will be created; who will live and who will die; who will die at his predestined time and who before his time; who by water and who by fire, who by sword, who by beast, who by famine, who by thirst, who by storm, who by plague, who by strangulation, and who by stoning. Who will rest and who will wander, who will live in harmony and who will be harried, who will enjoy tranquillity and who will suffer, who will be impoverished and who will be enriched, who will be degraded and who will be exalted.

Congregation aloud, then hazzan (the leader):

But REPENTANCE, PRAYER and CHARITY

Remove the Evil of the Decree!

We plead for mercy and hope we acted in the best possible way to be granted more time on this earth. My heart was broken on 9/11. My heart broke again with the massive loss in New Orleans and Japan. My heart breaks when I hear that older person passes right before the holidays…or worse, right after.

But we pray. We give charity. We repent and we ask each other for forgiveness. We act better. We speak nicer to each other. And we pray.

I am older and wiser and feel in my heart that when we spread word to help one another we make a difference. Maybe not in a way we can understand if G-d chooses a different outcome in the one we hoped for, but perhaps the difference will be in how we conduct ourselves.

May we all merit good health, and a happy, successful, fruitful new year.

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