I may be off my rocker and losing it a little. Or maybe I am just changing and it’s taking my brain time to catch up with itself. Lately I have the need to explore different areas of interest and my thirst for knowledge is ever-growing. I want to tap into creative thinking, and use my energy to explore new topics. It’s almost as if everything is fascinating me ALL OF A SUDDEN and I want to start now, now, now!
I feel like I am in a rush also, like I need something extra to focus on (as if I even have the time, who am I kidding?) and when one thing ends, I need another to take its place. I don’t want to miss opportunities that are presented to me and I’d LOVE to be able to make events and create activities but that is really out of my realm right now. I hate being the organizer, I’ve done it before, it just makes me anxious that I’ll forget small details – which in the greater scheme of things is no big deal, but I tend to over-think them ad-nauseum until I make myself sick and probably annoy my husband with questions of What If’s and Do You Think’s?
So I took Arabic, I took the Small Business Course, I am now blogging and starting a website (ever-so slowly – aarrrgh) and I want to know more, do more, be more active. Also, I want to make more money so that I can have more free time to blog and start this business that I said I was going to do, but am moving like a tortoise under water, with weights on my legs. Anyways…
Tonight I have agreed to go to a Karaoke night, Ladies Only…me. Yeah. Okay, this is gonna’ be interesting. My throat is killing me and I’ve taken the day off to drink lots of tea and rest while I blow my nose again and again in the privacy of my own home. Oh, and the Teenager and the Baby are home with me (so much for all that quiet rest time). I have mentioned before that I seem to get myself in these embarrassing situations for a good laugh but I have a bad feeling about this one…
What I should be doing is spending my time more productively. There is a sink full of dishes, laundry to fold, closets that need to be turned over and I need to be making a slide show for the Brain’s Bat Mitzvah! I want to take a nap just thinking about all that! It is only 8:30 AM, I do have all day to finish those amazing tasks AND still clean a bathroom or two (maybe). We’ll see. Probably not.
But I’m not, I’m sitting here, thinking…what songs, if I even do get up on ‘stage’ would I sing that hasn’t already been karaokeed to death? I think anything from Hall & Oates would get a good laugh. But then again, if I rest up and my throat feels better maybe I can have my American Idol moment? Ever since Chubby was little she got solos or duets singing in the school choir, and even though choked when the bright lights made her the only person everyone was looking at, still managed to keep being offered the opportunities to shine. Tonight can be the night I take the stage and really knock it out of the park…or typically fail and get a good laugh…hmmm. Or, I could ya’know really rock it out with a current song and look like Teddy and accept that I, just like the next guy, am an attention seeker, at least some of the time….
Or maybe not.
Well readers, fellow fans and closet stalkers… I’ll leave it up to you to make any song suggestions. You have until 6PM Israel time (which is 12 noon NY time – wait did u guys change the clocks yet?) Otherwise, I may get stuck singing (if I go on stage at all) Journey’s, ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ or Queen’s ‘We Are The Champions’ or Bonnie Tyler’s ‘Total Eclipse of the Heart’. It will most probably be photographed and I will most probably regret it, because inevitably it will be the notorious shot taken from the crowd exposing major double chin, with one eye closed mid-blink and eyebrows raised in heartfelt outpouring made-up lyrics that makes it way on to Facebook.
So, what was I thinking? I guess that it is better to be involved and not look back on life with ‘I should haves’ when ‘I could haves’ presented themselves.