If Only I Thought Of That First…

I saw this picture posted on a friend’s feed and it got me thinking of all the other inventions I should have come up with first.

Erg, it makes me so angry. The first year of marriage we were surrounded by young patent lawyers as we started our life together in Washington D.C. While my bestie was in grad school and I was temping for various ultra boring jobs, I kept trying to come up with the ‘next best thing’. The problem is, you only think of the most awesome invention ever when your life is missing that one thing that would make it cooler, easier, faster.

Lighted slippers. Genius.

I do have some weird dislikes with certain foods (read past posts like Apple Pie With Skins. Why?!? or Hiding My Lima Beans) and the way they move (jiggle/wiggle). I am not a HUGE fan of touching sticky things either so when I saw the Butter Cutter (great name) I thought, man, that’s genius! Now, if there was a way of spreading it and reassuring it would be mess-free, I’d consider buying that gadget. Even if it would only get that 3 times a year usage when you are sick and drinking tea and eating toast. One annoying feature would be cleaning this product. I hate cleaning in general but when there are small crevices – makes it so much worse.

On to more cool inventions.

I would never drink coffee as a kid, but it didn’t stop me from having mugs that I loved. Chubby liked her hot chocolate just like any other portly kid. There was the one with the cats, the one with my name, the black one, the cheap one…etc. The one thing that was always missing from my life? The Cookie Mug. https://i2.wp.com/www.geekstir.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/cookiemug-200x200.jpg Just brilliant! A storage spot for my cookies! Next birthday friends, put it on my wish list. There are more fun mugs like this, that are blue with cookie monster eyes painted on it, but I am past that childish stage (*cough) and would be prefer this plain, nondescript looking mug. Seriously. Genius.

I would love to see an invention where someone can drink while reclining, and without choking to death.

I would also love the freedom to sit all day and think up cool inventions but the only way to do that is if I have one really amazing idea and strike it rich because everyone thought so too.

Hey – another great invention would be, let’s say your server goes out while you think you’re saving a blog post, but then oh wait, no, half of it is gone…as-if-you-never-typed-it-up-in-the-first-place…grr, and there was some way to retrieve it.

So as I was sweeping the entire first floor of my house this morning (much-needed therapy) instead of waking up numero cinco, I looked out into my dirt pit/would-be-garden (if only I had the spare change) and thought, keeping all my priorities in check will guide me to the place I always want to be. Of course goals always change depending on whether you sneeze or win the lottery but nevertheless, I have kept true to myself, creating goals and reaching them. Sure, I could have used the time to “prioritize” (which really means spending one’s time wisely) this morning and washed the dishes or fold AND put away the laundry but that wasn’t really what I WANTED to do. What I wanted to do was sweep the floor. Goal Set. Goal Accomplished.

Think Big. Dream Big. 

I dream of being able to hire a housekeeper one day – to me that’s big. But in the meantime, I prioritize, which usually means watching Modern Family before washing any dishes but enough about me and how much I detest housework. What really needs to happen is something on a grand scale like with Rosie from the Jetsons. A robot who would clean my home, cook me dinner and I wouldn’t feel guilty for asking all my requests to live this privileged life. Or how about someone creating self-cleaning rooms or mess-free children – where can one purchase some of those?

I dare to dream…



One comment

  1. The second you take the time to think up big ideas, that’s when you get brain constipation!! The best stuff comes (I find) when driving, cleaning or something else tedious. I once woke Jon up in the middle of the night to tell him about my latest idea – a phone book that people pay to get listed in. Aka the yellow pages. Oh well.

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