If I Ever Grow A Mustache…

…please drag me to an epilator – is that what they are called? waxologists?

…it must mean I’m starting to look like my pet (which I don’t have -so there goes that theory).

…beware. I am in the next life and came back as a man.

…I may need to borrow your shaver, I hate facial hair.

…hide me in the closet and just remember to feed me once in a while.

…keep me posted on my flowers, I’ll never go outside again.

…I have injected a serious amount of hormones so, stay back.

…don’t tell me it looks good on me. I hate patronizers.

…love me for who I am not, not for what I look like.

…I hope it’s not one of those that curl up at the end, I can’t afford that tub of gel.

…I may be growing a beard as well. Stick a plaid shirt on me. I’m done.

Not so random friend plug:

If you are interested in Project Flow check out Flowstache, website coming soon.

…I’d learn how to do the upper lip mustache-y wiggle.

…I’d totally recreate The Very Hungry Caterpillar like my friend Gav did for Movember.

A mustache related rhyme – sort of…

I love this guy and this poster, but I truly hated The Hunt For Red October.

…I’d probably not touch it nearly as many times as men do.

…I’d try for the Fu Manchu or the handle-bar. That’s snappy.

…I’d probably end up with a load of leftovers with all that I’d drop, #crumbcatcher

My top 3 favorite guys on tv with cool mustaches are:

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