Not that this happened to me (wink).
- …you realize it was your chive-breath you kept smelling (but secretly blaming everyone else you spoke with).
- …you notice the toilet paper dragging from the bottom of your shoe.
- …someone else notices (before you) that you forgot to put deodorant on that morning.
- …that your slip has fallen and is puddling at your ankles.
- …your child loudly asks where your baby is while lifting your shirt and you’re not pregnant.
- …you walk into the bathroom with the broken lock and find your principal sitting on the toilet.
- …someone mistakens you for someone else BUT you don’t want to seem rude or you try for way too long to place the person when it hits you, you don’t actually know them. (And then the conversation ends with you saying, ‘”mmkay, bye-bye, keep in touch!”
- …you’re typing a blog post and know that the word ‘mistakens’ is wrong but you repeat it again and again out loud convincing yourself it makes sense and that it sounds like a real word. (ALERT: FRIENDS reference: like ‘supposably’).
It’s no surprise that I often find myself in awkward situations and there is certainly no shortage of embarrassing situations I’ve been in either.
As it happens, I am not as organized as I want to be. I’m not programmed for neatness but a weird phenomenon is that I can’t handle when my desk at work is messy –I am always reorganizing my pencil/note/tape holder and rush to clear any lingering piles.
Wish I could say the same about the laundry. I am inundated and often want to take off one day a week just to get a handle on it.
But, I know it’s my fault. At the end of the day, the last thing I have patience for is sorting and matching socks or trying to figure out whose white t-shirt is whose. I mean well but the fact is – I’d just rather NOT do it. In theory, instead of passing out at the end of the day and plopping on my bed scrolling through Facebook, I should be folding and switching those loads or washing and drying and putting away the dishes. I should be scrubbing the toilets and wiping down the counters. I should be preparing the children’s snacks for school the next day. Holy Mama – I’m tired even writing it all down, much less doing it all.
I always feel like, well if I didn’t have a day job, my house would be in perfect order – but is that so true given my lack of domestic abilities/interest in feeling like a maid? I wonder. Even on Friday when all the kids are out of the house and all I need to do is cook for the weekend – it takes me to the very last second of the day before the sun sets to get it all done. And then…it’s finally clean and organized and…then it’s not. For a minute or two, I cherish the orderliness. Then the little people start moving and there are cars and blocks and headless Barbie dolls and Bananagram tiles and a partial half-bent deck of cards all over the floor. Then the little people eat and I wipe the spills, change the shirt and pants for the 3rd time, sweep the crumbs into a corner because I lost the dustpan…somewhere on the first floor, I think.
But I digress. The worst things I have encountered (because of my deficiency) as awkward moments go is when the teacher asks, “didn’t you see the note I sent home?” And my child is the one NOT wearing a white shirt for picture day. Then said child starts to cry so that I’d feel guilty enough to run home and get one of those t-shirts I left in one of the mountains of laundry. I have two choices at that moment.1) Blame it on the kid. (nooo, he must have taken it out of his bag before I had a chance to read it!) or 2) “yes, but you know? My life is so hectic, what with working and doctors appointments and errands and and and, so so so sorry, yes I know I always forget things, yes I know I should have put it on the fridge, yes that IS where I told you I put all the notes.”
And then it hits me – I remember seeing the note. On the fridge. I remembered to add it to my calendar on my phone so that things like this, my kid’s schedules, can be better managed, (too bad I added that note for the wrong day). I remembered to add it to the huge white-board in the kitchen nook where all other lists and reminders go. I just forgot to look at it.
Yeah, my life is busy and I ‘waste’ a lot of time doing things in maybe not the best most organized way. So my dishes wait until I am ready and my children learn some responsibility by folding and putting away their own laundry and dinner is sometimes served at 7 PM So I’m not the best. However, my children are always clean. I clip their nails and make them eat fruit. On occasion I’ll serve vegetables with dinner. They all get hugged and kissed before bedtime. They all get hugged and kissed before they run to the bus stop in the morning. They are truly loved and well cared for and there is nothing awkward about that.