Choke On That!

screen shotvapexlpim1

It sure has been a while since I posted some of the goofy things on the internet that make me laugh out loud, but I’ve been wrapped up with work, kids, fake-dieting and life in general. However, here is a screen shot of one of the emails I recently received advertising the Vapex Electronic Cigarette FREE starter kit.  When I click on the horrific advertisement it brings me to a page called: where there is a choice of weight loss, lap band surgery and diet pill links. Ouch. When I finally find a real advertising pic this is what I see: A sexified angry-looking woman holding a fake cigarette. Ew.

I once worked with a security guard that tried to convince me to buy a similar product (even though I didn’t smoke) saying it would make me look cool. Okay, no offense to the overweight, crooked-toothed, fake-smoker – that thing wasn’t helping his image in the least bit! And I never claimed to want to look ‘cool’.

I remember my first pregnancy, while working on Wall Street (everybody together: ‘oooh’) there was a problem with the subway station so I was forced to take a bus. Waiting on-line, there next to me was Ms. Rudeness of the year award herself, blowing smoke literally at me and my big belly. When I asked her to please switch places (UNTIL THE BUS CAME) so that my fetus wouldn’t be all brain-damaged, she flat-out refused and guffawed.  The nerve, seriously. I never even asked her to put it out, or alluded to the fact that I took calls from men suffering from Mesothelioma that was enhanced because of their smoking daily, or that she was forcing others to suck up her second-hand smoke. Well, since there is nothing weird about that, let’s move on.

Choking is a serious issue, even though I am making light of some of the products or signage out there. I felt that was important to say.

Now – while researching I found some incredible obvious warning signs that made me wonder about some people. This one for instance is just an example:


So let me get this straight, a person who buys marbles, plans on giving them to children under 3 is actually going to read this? Nah, I say someone who idiotic isn’t reading labels. Oh, and 4 year olds and 5 year olds and curious 12 year olds, and drunk frat boys could also choke on this product. It’s a good thing this hazard warning indicates that it’s a marble. But in my opinion, there needs to be more. “Like, hey moron,  don’t put this in your mouth, it’s not food!”

-mardi_gras Um, there is fashion and there is avauntgard and then there is Mardi Gras. Never the twain shall meet – but no one told this wackadoo. Beads are fun, and shiny and ooh-lala – but knowing when something is too much is a job for your friends. Clearly this party girl has lost control of her abilities to dress for success since she definitely looks like she is…everyone together…choking!

So what started out as simply spam mail became my weird stuff on Wednesday research project. I’ll leave you with this one cute item I found.




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