There are actually some people who care how you are when they ask you, “hey, how are you?” or “sup?” with a slight head nod. However, most people use it as a greeting and do NOT expect, want or mean to hear a 20 minute story about your awful morning or the fact that you didn’t hear the alarm buzzer go off and your whole morning was basically thrown off kilter. They could care less and are just doing what they can and achieving the slightest degree of having good manners when passing you. The common response is, “good thanks and you?”, but do you care? You might. They’ll probably just respond, “great thanks”. End of conversation. This makes me sad. I’m not all crunchy-granola and think we need to feed each other rainbows and hug all day, but I do feel like connecting more with people. Though I’ve heard people give advice and I am probably at fault as well, for saying: “No matter what you do people will always have something negative to say”. Why can’t we say the opposite? We need more positivity. Especially if you see someone in a grumpy mood or having a cranky-pants, bad-hair day, make the effort to listen for a few minutes, offer up ANYTHING positive and be helpful.
Lets start speaking nicer to each other. If you do not want to ask the other person, how is your day going….then don’t ask. Just say hello. No harm, no foul.
Where do we draw the line at being honest though? For every time I have responded “fine, thanks” and smiled to the passerby when inside I want to roar like a lion and cry like a baby all at the same time, I may be possibly cheating myself out of getting cheered up, or worse, smiling.
Yes, it is important to have those angry/sad/bloated and obnoxious feelings and deal with them in the proper fashion, like screaming in a pillow/eating a tub of ice cream/wearing fat pants and crying at Kleenex commercials. So again, where do we draw the line and cut the niceties?
I’m not sure I know. I mean, I get paid primarily to smile mostly all day and am generally in a cheery disposition and ready to help those that come asking. There is a part of me that says – lie, lie, lie. Your life is not EVERYONE’s business.
While this didn’t actually happen to me, any woman reading this will get what I’m trying to say:
That poor shlub, was trying to be polite and you’ve just detoured him into a 20 minute saga of your pathetic run in with the landlord who won’t fix your leak and that while he was screaming at you that it was your fault, your child pooped his pants, and you had no spare pants or underwear so you wrapped him in a towel that had tire grease from the back of the car where you left it, last Tuesday when you got a flat on the way to the dentist for a root canal that killed and caused you a major migraine that made you miss the Ladies Night Out that clearly you really needed.
Here I think, yeah it’s probably best to go with “fine, thanks”. Why, you ask? Because honesty is not always the best policy. By sharing all that, you create awkwardness and with that, you can guarantee that shlub is going to avoid you from now on if he can.
My point is lets find a balance. Lets say: “it’s been a rough few days so its bound to get better” – then the shlub has a chance to follow through, you’ve laid it out there, given them an opportunity to be nice and inquire further or part with cheery helpful responses.
This is all on my mind, because it’s blatantly obvious that my morning started out rough. However, I aim to make it more positive, I promise to stop dumping out my utterly descriptive detailed blow-by-blow, and work on my responses to the basic, ‘how are you’ questions. If you promise me one thing, feed me a rainbow every once in while.