Freeze The Cheese

This is a phrase I want people to start using. I want to hear it one day used in a movie, on the streets, in a song…you name it. It can be used in a myriad of ways all for different needs.

Example #1: The Cheesy Pickup Line: While some think they are being ‘clever’ most people will see it as being cheesy and honestly how many times have you heard this classic pick-up line…”Do your legs hurt from running through my dreams all night?” Ich. Here anyone could and should respond with a simple “freeze the cheese.”

Example #2: The Cheesy Joke: How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. Yeah, I know, little chuckles for everyone. It’s cute. It’s also cheesy. Not cheesy enough to warrant the phrase? How about this one? Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent. Bada-boom. Here, it would be perfectly acceptable to face the jokester  and say, “freeze the cheese”. (I also call these ‘Dad jokes’)

Example #3: The Cheesy Potato: Where I work there used to be catering services. There was a specific caterer one year that would make the same basic menu week after week, and there was always a day dedicated to the cheesy-potato dish. It looked like this:

This looks so unhealthy and coming from me, that is a big deal. I love lots of things that look unhealthy and often indulge though I know better but imagine eating this dish week after week? Someone should have had the guts to face the chef and say, “freeze the cheese!”

Example #4: Cheesy Clothing:  There is something to be said for originality. I appreciate the witty one-liners but I can’t stand when you’re at an amusement park and you pass a couple wearing matching t-shirts on purpose. Like the couple that has to walk around always on the same side of each other because her t-shirt says I’m with him and an arrow pointing to the right and his says I’m with her and an arrow pointing to the left. Barf. In this case you can’t really say anything because well freedom of speech applies if you live in the US it’s always important  to encourage individuality. But there is no law that says you can’t think it:

Freeze The Cheese!Easy Cheesy Tee Shirt

Okeedokee. Bridal showers are all about weird cheesy gifts and games so while it’s not entirely fair for this to be part of the series it still must be mentioned. There is this one game that I remember vividly – basically everyone purchases an inexpensive kitchen item and all the gifts are filled in a laundry basket or garbage pail or some other receptacle that can be used by the new couple once they are married.

Example #5: The Cheesy Gift: Everyone must think of  a cute hint that is sort of punny. attach it to the gift and the bride has to try to guess what it is before opening it. The card may read: Wishing you a sweet life beyond measure.  Did you figure it out? It was a measuring cup filled with candy. If you are rolling your eyes like I am you or shaking your head slightly with raised eyebrows – you may have been at the same party as me, perhaps in a different state or the week after, preparing the bonnet of wrapping paper and bows that the bride-to-be ends up wearing and smiles like a goober to commemorate the cheese as her friends and Aunt Sylvia are saying, look over here, as the cameras go a-flashing. Yikes. I may have just heard one of you screaming at me to ‘freeze the cheese’ because this stuff is too awful to read, it was bad enough having to participate in them but reliving it here? Oh now c’mon – you know you loved it back then and are smiling like a goober now!

All in all – I hope this post gets passed around – (SUBLIMINAL HINT HERE) and it goes viral –  and the world will be using my phrase to stop the weirdos amongst us. Peace Ya’ll.