The Crush That Ruined The SAT’s

SAT’s are Standard Aptitude Te for American students mandatory if one is planning on attending any American  college. An American student (almost) never will be taken seriously to any higher learning institution without taking this test. The high school I attended prepped us big time, even since we were freshman we were taking the PPPSAT’s then as sophomores we were taking the PPSAT’s and as juniors we took, you got it, the PSAT’s. We got one more shot for a practice test as seniors but then the real deal. My parents never signed me up for a special study course or bought me an encyclopedic sized SAT for dummies or anything so I was pretty much on my own. What you see is what you get…or more likely not get, since the scores may be too low to go to your elitist university. I had not taken my future too seriously though and I was taking one thing at a time, pretty chill. I was going abroad, so I had a plan. I’d figure it out from there.

I’ll set the scene for you. Woke up, I believe on a Sunday (not even fair to start with, but whatevs…) got dressed, totally bummed at having to waste the day in some shul taking this very long, brain intensive exam that included reading comprehension, math skills and a boatload of vocabulary. Number 2 pencils sharpened and ready. Knuckles cracked. Ready. The ONLY word I remember being on the exam was “wharf”, which had nothing to do with the word ‘dwarf’, much to my surprise. Not that any of it mattered. I had done fairly well on my PSAT’s so I was convinced it was no biggie.

The whole class piled in and sat down 3 to a table. I was in heaven baby. The guy I had a crush on was sitting at my table. Blushanomics 101 here I come, ready to take notes on every blink he makes; Oh Isaac Newton you sneaky peaky,  for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. I occasionally listened in school and applied the information where I saw fit. Example: I will stare until he looks my way. When he turns, make it look like I am concentrating, avoid eye contact. Use peripheral vision until the coast is clear. All clear? Continue to stare while blushing and oopsidaisy,  he is staring at me. Now what? Smile so outragiously big your inner voice is calling you “FREAKAZOID”. Nice move. He raised his eyebrows and nodded ever so slightly. Then he shrugged his shoulders. *sigh* Oh well.

Isaac Newton for all those who don’t know was a fairly perceptive dude. He figured out that there were 3 laws of motion. First, there is the law of inertia (big word, I know). Basically it means that if something is sitting idly untouched it will not move unless something makes it move. And the opposite applies, if something is moving, it will continue moving unless something makes it stop. Thanks Newton for making that a ‘Law’.  Example: Due to speeding, I missed the stop sign and finally came to a halt when the sirens, flashing lights, and mega loudspeaker forced me to. If this were NOT the law,  I may not have been ticketed – True story. The second law of motion states that the amount of force you apply to an object will equal the speed of that object with time. Example: When playing punch for punch with my older brother and he punched me REALLY hard, within seconds my whole body flew backwards into the fridge. True story. Which leads me to the third law of motion. For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Example, said fridge fight: Brother is happy. Brother hits sister. Sister gets hurt. Mother is angry. Mother hits bother. Brother is punished. Brother is sad. True Story.

If only the SAT’s were that exciting and relatable I may have done better or been more interested in the reading comprehension sections at least. I basically stared at this guy who I thought was dreamy the WHOLE time, but PRETENDING I was busy with my exam until I heard the volunteers voice, “pencils down in 5 minutes”. Zoinks! I basically colored in my scan tron sheet with a snake design A, B, C, D, A, B, C, D, and so on. So suffice it to say, I didn’t do so well. But that’s okay because I had no plans for college just yet. I was going to “study” abroad, and was gonna’ figure it out. And clearly I did. -Side Note: Funny story about my essay to get into college – keep posted. I finally grew up and learned to appreciate reading, and eventually remembered to look up the word ‘wharf’. It’s nice to know that I am still friends with dreamy though. It may have taken longer to get where it seemed everyone else was going but after a year of introspection and adventure I was getting to the same place, and I was not so far behind. That’s the funny thing about life sometimes. Us earthly beings have this thing about time. We are completely hung up on it, live by it, organize our entire day based on it, need it in order to succeed. But we know G-d is timeless and is not bound by time.

“Pencils down”. When you’re time is up it’s up. Make the most out of each experience by taking that experience and finding the value in it. Every action taken has worth. BUT it’s a bargain, you could get stuck with the opposite reaction. I am happy to have ‘wasted’ my time staring at dreamy. I was not ready to make life changing decisions, (well, that was fairly obvious huh?) I wanted to coast another year,  it was my spiritual year, I was acting G-d-like, not bound by time. My parents were cool with that, after all it was the cheaper alternative. When I finally made it to college I was ready. I was mature enough to be bound by time, and I did a pretty decent job and had a blast along the way. Getting there is a post waiting to be written but it’s a hoot. Keep posted kids, it’s a great story.


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